I had a bizarre pre-match routine but my team-mate ruined it when he did a poo in my bath, says Julian Dicks

JULIAN DICKS never spent much time warming up before a Premier League clash — his pre-match routine was instead rather unorthodox.

He said: “The water’s warm, never too hot, and I’m lying in here, stark b*****k naked, apart from my football boots.

AlamyJulian Dicks used to have a bizarre pre-match routine[/caption]

GettyBut he claims that team-mate John Moncur spoiled it by ‘pooing’ in his bath[/caption]

GettyDicks played with Moncur at West Ham in his playing days[/caption]

“It’s 2.40pm and kick-off is only 20 minutes away. And I’m still in the bath.

“On the side of the tub are two cans of Coke and a Mars bar. Soon it will be converted into that endless energy I seem to find when I’m on the pitch.

“As I bite into the chocolate, the sound of the fans coming into Upton Park is getting louder. They’re watching the boys being put through their paces.

“I’ve never done a pre-match warm-up and never will. My warm-up is right here, in the bath. This is my sanctuary.

“Never mind the motivational messages from the gaffer. I’m ready to play.

“I’m ready to die for the claret and blue.”

There was, however, one time Dicks’ pre-match bath was rudely interrupted by the antics of team-mate John Moncur.

He added: “We were playing QPR  — I ran myself a lovely bath with bubbles in it and I stepped my feet into it.

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“I glanced down into the tub, and I  was stunned to see a s*** floating in it.

“I turned my head towards the doorway and a load of the lads were standing there laughing their heads off.

“John had done a s*** in my bath.

“Really, there are no words to describe a character like that. Apart from absolute f***ing lunatic.”  

Hammer Time, by Julian Dicks, £22, is out on Thursday.