Chris Kamara reveals he contemplated suicide as he struggled with health battle in heartbreaking revelations
CHRIS KAMARA says he contemplated suicide as he struggled in his health battle in a heartbreaking revelation.
The former footy star, 65, went on to become one of the most-loved pundits on the box.
GettyChris Kamara has made a heartbreaking revelation in his new book[/caption]
He achieved legendary status working alongside Jeff Stelling on Sky Sports Soccer Saturday for three decades.
Kammy left his role on Sky Sports in 2022 after being diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, leaving him with a condition that affects his speech.
Kamara explained how he felt like a “fraud” following his apraxia of speech diagnosis – and like someone else is controlling his voice.
The ex-Swindon and Brentford midfielder has continued with some of his media work as the host of ITV’s Ninja Warrior UK and co-host of the BBC’s Proper Football podcast with Ben Shephard.
However, he has now revealed in his new book titled ‘Kammy’ how he had the darkest of thoughts at his lowest point and decided he did not want to be a burden on his wife Anne.
He writes his deepest thoughts and worries in the book, which is being serialised in the Daily Mirror.
Kamara wrote: “I’m going to admit something now, something I’ve never mentioned before. It’s hard for me to talk about, so bear with me.
“As I was gripped by apraxia, and the apparent hopelessness of my future, I’d been escaping more and more down to the animals at the back of the house. Hidden away, that smallholding became my refuge.
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
Movember, www.uk.movember.com
Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm
“Animals don’t judge. You look after them and in return they show you unconditional love. I would talk to them as I stood there. I’d let all my innermost feelings tumble out.
“I didn’t need to worry about them noticing my slowed speech or my compromised stability. It seems silly to say they ‘listened’, but in those moments that’s how it felt.
“Going down there allowed me to unravel my thoughts. And I’ll be honest, some of those thoughts could be dark.
“I worried about where I was going to end up. Would my physical and neurological deterioration just keep going and going? And I worried more about the effect it would have on those around me.
“I’m a man who has always wanted to help, to provide, to love and nurture those around me. And now I could only see myself as a burden. A shell of the man I used to be that they would be left to look after.
“Seeing myself like that was like staring into an abyss. I could never reconcile that image in my head. It was unthinkable.
“And it’s at that point I’d think, ‘They’d be better off without me.’”
He admitted that Gary Speed’s tragic suicide in 2011 then came into his mind, saying: “I thought of Gary Speed and then I thought of my own position – a man in his mid-sixties, whose best days, because of a brain condition, were gone, struggling on while becoming a weight on all around him. Whose wife and children would be left to deal with whatever I became.
Sky SportsGary Spped (bottom right, pictured with Kammy, top left) committed suicide in 2011[/caption]
“I didn’t want that for Anne and the boys. So how do you prevent it from happening? You take yourself out of the picture.
“There were times when I definitely thought that was a way out. If you’re stuck in a maze, with no sign of an escape route, eventually you’ll try something extreme. Especially if you have chosen to wander that maze alone.”
Thankfully for everyone, Kamara opened up on his issues and he urged anyone else contemplating those dark thoughts to seek help.
He added: “That really is the key. When finally I did start to share my problems, I began to see that the future might not be so bleak. That a world could exist with me in it.
“Hopefully a me who was better, but nevertheless a version of me who I could live with.
“It’s hard to look back on those dark times. To the outside world I know how irrational those thought patterns must seem. But when the walls are closing in it’s easy to feel differently.
“I hope by being honest and talking about it, I can help others see that there is always another way out.
“There is always hope. You just have to let other people help you see it.”
GettyChris Kamara was diagnosed with apraxia and left Sky Sports Soccer Saturday in 2022[/caption]
